Most men don’t know how to read the signs. Or they embarrass themselves and see signals when there are none. For the straight truth, we went to Love Systems' Nick Savoy, an expert on female psychology and dating, who offered up these seven signs she's game for being more than a friend.
1. She always returns your texts—and more quickly than you return hers
You never want to seem over-eager, or invest a lot more than she does. “Investment” here can be measured in text message length, amount of emotional content, how many texts get responded to, and how quickly you answer her texts.
The same signals work in reverse. So, if she is responding more quickly, more often, and with longer and more emotional messages than you are sending, there’s a decent chance that she’s interested in you.
2. She’s the last woman standing
While some women will proposition their friends, or at least drop hints, most tend to hang around, structure an opportunity for you to make a move, and see what you do.
So if your friend never seems to leave the party or the night on the town before you do, she’s probably into you--or she’s the world’s best party friend. This counts double if she makes things happen such that the two of you will be alone at the end of the night (e.g. asking you for a ride home).
You can also test to see if she’ll accompany you on mundane tasks and errands. Ask her to keep you company while you go grocery shopping or drop off dry cleaning. If she does, she’s either got nothing to do or she really likes spending time with you.
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3. There’s sexual tension where there wasn’t any before
When a friend wants you, there’s almost always some physical/sexual tension. This is different from when you’re attracted to someone you don’t know, where the first few steps are usually about spending time together and getting to know each other. But if you’re already friends, you’ve presumably done a lot of that already. Her wanting you means that she wants to take things to the next level.
If there’s more sex talk and sexual joking in her conversation with you than there was before, that might be her way of showing that she wants you. Similarly, if she starts dropping hints about how “It’s been a while," she might be signaling that she’s not currently sleeping with someone, and that it’s time to make your move.
4. She’s “touchier” with you
One thing we teach a lot at Love Systems is that “body language rarely lies." If she touches you more than she touches her other male friends (usually on the arm, shoulder, back, etc.), she might be showing her intentions.
Use the “ping test." Touch her arm or hand when you make a point or tell a joke. Does she find an excuse to touch you back? Throw your arm around her playfully–does she seem uncomfortable, or does she curl in?
One warning: Some women don’t like to be touchy-feely in public, or where their friends can see them. Test this out somewhere private.
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5. You’re funnier all of a sudden
If she seems to laugh at little louder and more quickly at your jokes than she does with other guys in your social circle, she might be sending signals. Or your sense of humor just happens to appeal to her – which isn’t a bad sign in itself.
6. She’s randomly up to date about your life
She follows you on Facebook and “liked” you status update about getting off work early. She commented that your new profile photo looks great. When you run into her, she asks you how that new sushi restaurant was – because you posted last week that you were going to check it out. This is the social media equivalent of making eye contact at a party. And it’s just as good of a sign of her interest.
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It doesn’t have to be online. Does she notice every time you have a haircut or get a new outfit? Does she ask you how your date went last Thursday? If she’s not typically like that, it means that she’s paying attention to you.
7. She never tries to set you up
OK, this one's not true.
It’s a bit illogical, but often a woman who has a crush on you will try to set you up with someone else – especially if she’s seen you a bunch of times and you haven’t made a move yet.
Regardless of the situation, be flattered if this happens. It means she sees you as being attractive enough to stake her own reputation on. And if your friend is single, it’s almost always a good sign if she’s interested in your dating life – even if she’s supposedly trying to set you up with someone else.
Nick Savoy is president of Love Systems and has helped thousands of “average guys” attract and date beautiful women. Follow him on twitter at @LS_Savoy.