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Think Small and Grow Big


Fit Travel: Top 16 Adventure Destinations in the U.S.

27 Signs You've Been an MMA Fan Too Long

Overnight Expert: How to Talk Dirty

Burn Fat Fast: 4 High-Intensity Circuits [WORKOUTS]

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Slash off fat fast with these high-intensity circuits from four of our fitness experts.
man running on the beach in the morning

Summer is right around the corner and if you're looking to shred down, it's time to shift your workout routines from mass-building to fat-burning.

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Protein Power: 6 Easy Ways To Eat Shrimp

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Stop ignoring this lean, nutrient-packed protein source, which is easier to snack on—or make into a meal—than you think. These easy recipes prove it.
With these easy recipes, you can finally stop ignoring this lean, nutrient-packed protein source.
grilled shrimp skewers

Maybe you’ve been avoiding shrimp in the kitchen, and we get it. With their veins and shells, those little buggers can be pretty damn intimidating.

But here’s the thing: if you buy the right type, this protein-packed seafood (21 grams per serving) actually cooks quickly—and preparation requires very little technique or skill. “Shrimp offers heart-healthy omegas, B12, and selenium, an antioxidant that boosts immunity,” says Robyn Youkilis, nutritionist and healthy cooking expert. “Plus it helps protect against heart disease, Alzheimer’s, and cancer.”

So what should you buy? Frozen or fresh varieties work equally well, says Youkilis, but if you’re buying frozen, look for packages labeled “flash-frozen,” which will taste fresher once thawed. Simply place those little guys in a bowl of cold water to defrost, then remove that little dark vein before cooking—digging in with a little paring knife should do the trick.

Oh, and one last piece of good news: Unlike other types of fish or seafood, shellfish has little-to-no mercury, meaning it can be consumed up to three times a week. Ready to get started? Here are six easy ways to work shrimp into your diet.

See also: Protein Power – Salmon>>

shrimp cocktail
Cold shrimp with cocktail sauce is more than a party hors d’oeuvre—it also makes for a quick and easy protein-packed snack. Take the easy route and use frozen shrimp for cocktails. To prepare, peel the shell off from the inside curve, leaving the tail intact. Serve with a simple cocktail sauce, made with 1 cup chili sauce (like Heinz), ½ cup prepared horseradish, 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice, and a little ground black pepper.
salad with shrimp

Want a meal that doesn’t even require you to turn on the oven? Try a hearty shrimp salad. Here's one we love: Start by cooking 4 ounces of bacon in a large pan, then add deveined shrimp. Season with salt and pepper, and cook for 5 more minutes, until shrimp is opaque. Transfer bacon and shrimp to a serving bowl, and add a 15-ounce can of drained and rinsed cannellini beans (they’ll pack even more protein into your meal). Mix all ingredients together, then serve over fresh spinach or arugula, topped with balsamic vinaigrette dressing.

See also: Mayo-Free Shrimp Salad Recipe>>

shrimp stir fry
Next time you’re making stir-fry for dinner, simply sub in fully-cooked shrimp for your typical chicken, and skip the store-bought sauce in favor of this healthy homemade version. Just combine the following ingredients to give your dish a coconut-ginger kick: ½ teaspoon minced ginger, 1 minced garlic glove, 1 teaspoon Sriracha sauce, 2 teaspoons lower-sodium soy sauce, 1 teaspoon red curry paste, and 2 tablespoons light coconut milk.
old bay shrimp on skewers
For an impressive but safe shrimp marinade—you really can’t mess this one up—Youkilis recommends olive oil, Old Bay seasoning, red pepper flakes, and a ton of parsley or cilantro. Just rub it on your shrimp before grilling. (FYI: This is one recipe where it’s okay to be as heavy-handed with the ingredients as you want.) Make it a meal by adding a nutrient-packed side, like broccoli, green beans, or asparagus.
shrimp burrito

Put Chipotle to shame and craft your own delicious burrito using shrimp, which proves just as tasty as beef or chicken—when done right. Just douse those buggers with lemon or lime juice and wrap 'em up in a whole-wheat tortilla with peppers, onions, lettuce, salsa, tomatoes, and corn. And if you’re really feeling ambitious, you can whip up some homemade guac as a topper, too.

Check out: Healthy Shrimp Quesadilla Recipe>>

roasted shrimp pasta
For how gourmet it tastes, roasting shrimp is a surprisingly simple cooking method. It caramelizes the shrimp, intensifying their flavors and bringing out a natural sweetness. Impress your girlfriend by tossing shrimp in an olive oil and salt mixture, putting them in the oven at 400 degrees for six minutes, and then serving over whole-wheat pasta. That’s it. You’re done. (But if you want to go all out, add roasted peppers or tomatoes to the mix as well.)
Page Title: 
Shrimp Cocktail, Grilled Shrimp, and Other Easy Recipes with Shrimp

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10 Toughest At-Home Tooth Whiteners

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Want whiter teeth without dropping hundreds of dollars? We’ve scoped out the whitening strips, toothpastes, and toothbrushes touted to be toughest on stains.
These strips, pastes, and brushes are touted to be toughest on stains.
Rembrandt Deeply White 2-Hour Whitening Kit

Got a date tonight, and haven’t been working at whitening your teeth for weeks? Try Rembrandt Deeply White 2-Hour Whitening Kit ($23). After molding a set of trays to fit your mouth, you’ll alternate between wearing the gel-filled applicators for 20 minutes and resting for 10 minutes for a total two hours.

Why Your Teeth Are Crucial to Your Health >>>

Crest 3D White Intensive Professional Effects Whitestrips
Crest 3D White Intensive Professional Effects Whitestrips ($56, soap.com) come at a steep price, but it doesn’t compare to the cash you’d drop on an in-office whitening procedure. Still, the kit promises to whiten just as well as a $500 laser treatment, with results lasting up to 12 months. Apply strips for two hours a day for seven days.
Tom's of Maine Simply White Toothpaste

If you’re sketched out by the bleaching agents in at-home whitening products, try Tom’s of Maine Clean Mint Simply White Fluoride Toothpaste ($5, tomsofmaine.com). The surface stain eraser: silica, an ingredient derived from sand. (Don’t worry—the paste is smooth, not gritty.) What we liked best about this eco-friendly cavity fighter: Milder ingredients don’t limit the product’s powerful fresh-breath effects.

Sensodyne Extra Whitening Toothpaste

If you shy away from whitening because it hurts like hell—we get it, some products can be pretty harsh—then this paste was made for you. Sensodyne Extra Whitening ($5, drugstore.com) breaks up stains while building a protective layer that blocks pain caused by hot, cold, and sugary foods. For a deeper-feeling clean, opt for Sensodyne Iso-Active Foaming Gel Whitening ($8, drugstore.com). It bubbles up when you brush, making it easier to hit hard-to-reach areas.

Crest 3D White Arctic Fresh Whitening Toothpaste

Crest 3D White Arctic Fresh ($4, pgestore.com) is a do-it-all paste. It’s touted to remove up to 80% of surface stains while fighting cavities and freshening breath. The company claims that when the toothpaste is used along with other products in the line-up (Crest 3D White Arctic Fresh MultiCare Whitening Rinse, Oral-B 3D White Vivid Toothbrush), you’ll see results in two days.

Reach Total Care Toothbrush

The Reach Total Care + Whitening toothbrush ($3, drugstore.com) is more beefed up than the freebie you’d bring home from the dentist's office. Bristles are infused with calcium carbonate, a buffing ingredient that helps loosen up stains sans bleach. Other bells and whistles include a tongue cleaner, grip handle, and angled neck.

Sonicare DiamondClean Toothbrush

You plunk down cash for a plasma TV and an iPhone 5, why not make a similar investment in your at-home oral health? What we have in mind: the Sonicare DiamondClean rechargeable toothbrush ($220, phillips-store.com). The tooth-polishing powertool cranks out 31,000 brushstrokes per minute, which would take you a month to rack up with a manual brush. The DiamondClean is touted to remove five times more plaque than a manual brush, whiten teeth in one week, and improve gum health in two weeks. It also features a two-minute timer and a USB cord so you can charge it up at your computer.

Listerine Whitening Vibrant Multi-Action Whitening Rinse

This product is a far cry from stinging antiseptic rinses that make your eyes water and breath smell nothing like mint. Listerine Whitening Vibrant Multi-Action Whitening Rinse ($6, soap.com) is a foaming, twice-a-day pre-brush rinse that claims to get teeth four times whiter than brushing alone. The mild-tasting mouthwash also controls tarter to prevent future stains and kills bad-breath-causing germs.

Rembrandt Intense Stain Stain Dissolving Strips

You barely have enough time to throw together a homemade breakfast in the morning, let alone mess with a slew of smile-brightening products before work. But Rembrandt Intense Stain Stain Dissolving Strips ($23 for 56 strips, rembrandtboutique.com) let you whiten while you zip through your morning—or nighttime—routine. Apply the no-fuss strips before you shave, for example, and in the 5 to 10 minutes that you spend on your face, they will have dissolved in your mouth—with nothing to remove or rinse away. Use the strips twice a day for two weeks to lift surface stains from coffee and wine.

Orbit White Gum

You’re no fool—you know that popping a piece of gum isn’t going to have the same smile-whitening effect as a high-tech toothbrush. But if you’re going to chew gum to freshen your breath after meals, there’s no harm in grabbing a pack with stain-removing potential. Orbit White is sugar-free and according to the brand’s website, an eight-week clinical trial showed that having two pieces after eating and drinking helped remove stains.

Page Title: 
Whiten Teeth at Home with 10 Tough Whitening Products

The 10 Most Infamous Bars in America

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Belly up like a badass at one of these watering holes made famous by ghosts, gangs, pirates or prostitution rings. A new travel book shows you exactly where to stop.
Belly up like a badass at one of these watering holes made famous by ghosts, gangs, pirates or prostitution rings.
Bucket List Bars book

When a full day of travel leaves you thirsty for a stiff drink, you could hit up a hotel bar and enjoy a watered-down Old Fashioned or one of three beers on tap. Or you could unwind at a watering hole where Al Capone, Jack Kerouac or Clark Gable once sat.

We don’t know about you, but we’d go with the latter. That’s why we’re psyched about a new travel book called Bucket List Bars, in which friends and history buffs Dr. Clint Lanier and Derek Hembree, explore the backstories of 40 of the most famous (and infamous) bars in America.

We recently sat down with the authors and got right to the good stuff—watering holes best known for hauntings, prostitution rings, smugglers' dens, and mafia activity. If you’re ready to belly up like a badass, make sure one of these 10 bars makes its way onto your summer bucket list.

20 Cocktail Recipes Every Man Should Know How to Make >>>

Sign and artifacts at Ear Inn

Heaps of nautical artifacts speak to the history of the waterfront bar—Ear Inn was an ideal spot for sailors, immigrant gangs, and river pirates to throw back glasses of corn whisky in the 1800s and early 1900s. During Prohibition, a brothel occupied the speakeasy’s second and third floors, and today the bar is rumored to be haunted, with the top floor reportedly being the ghost’s favorite hangout.

And, believe it or not, the watering hole’s notorious past has nothing to do with ears. To avoid a lengthly review by the Landmark Commission—the group was picky about new signs being added to historic buildings—the owners simply painted over part of the B in “Bar” to give the nameless establishment an official title.

Bridge Cafe sign

Another pre-Prohibition hotspot for criminals, pirates, and men seeking the short-term company of a woman, Bridge Café is New York City’s oldest alcohol-serving establishment. It’s also rumored to be one of the most haunted watering holes in the city. Loud footsteps can reportedly be heard coming from the empty second floor, stereos turn themselves up and down, and computers are constantly crashing. Still, despite the spookiness, the former brothel and grog shop has been transformed into an upscale café, complete with white tablecloths, gourmet food, and an extensive offering of single malts, bourbons, and rye whiskies.

Check out this video for more on the Bridge Café’s haunted history.

Mural at Simon's Tavern in Chicago

Known for serving whisky-spiked coffee during the Prohibition Era, the decades-old speakeasy is rumored to be home to a revenge-seeking spirit. Where’d she come from? Simon Lumberg, a Swedish immigrant who opened up the bar in Chicago’s Andersonville neighborhood during the 1920s, had a son named Roy Lumberg, who stirred up some family drama when he had intimate relations with a married woman. That woman died in a car accident while traveling with Roy, and years later, right after Roy’s death, his image was found mysteriously cut out of a family mural that spans one side of the bar. Today, some patrons say they can sense the spirit’s presence while sitting at the bar.

Check out this video to learn more about the bar’s haunted past.

Crystal Palace

Situated on one of the Wild West’s bloodiest street corners, Crystal Palace is riddled with bullet holes, evidence of the countless shootouts that took place at the saloon throughout history. Today, tourists flock to the dusty mining-town watering hole to see period gunfight reenactments and servers dressed in authentic Old-West attire. Ghost hunters also frequent the bar, as patrons report paranormal activity, like lights randomly turning off and on and relic gambling wheels spinning without being touched.

Frolic Room

The Frolic Room’s darkest secret is rooted in one of the city’s most famous murder mysteries—the Black Dalia. On January 15, 1947, the body of the Black Dalia, whose real name was Elizabeth Short, was found gruesomely mangled and cut in half at a nearby park. Next to nothing is known about the Black Dalia’s killer or his intentions. One detail about the unsolved murder that has been solidified: the Frolic Room was Short’s favorite bar and one of the last places she was seen alive.

Emily's shoes at The Tavern in Austin Texas

During the Prohibition Era, The Tavern served as a grocery store by day and a speakeasy, gambling hall, and brothel by night. Although the brothel’s been shut down for years, the spirit of a hostess named Emily is rumored to live on inside the oldest sports bar in Texas. Emily was killed during a fight that broke out between two patrons in the 1940s. Today, visitors report seeing apparitions of Emily staring out of a second floor window late at night. To solidify their stories, a pair of shoes that were discovered during a renovation—and rumored to have belonged to Emily—are displayed on the second floor.

Esquire Tavern

Situated on San Antonio’s famous River Walk, the post-Prohibition saloon was popular among members of the Mexican Mafia, a group of street thugs who ran drug and prostitution rings out of the tavern—and even designated a loft in the back of the bar as a champagne room—between the 1970s and 2006, when The Esquire closed its doors. After a taking five years to clean up its image as a rough place with a rough crowd—the bar had metal detectors and sold shirts that said “I Survived The Esquire Tavern”—the watering hold reopened in 2011 with a new identity. Today, patrons at the now fully renovated venue enjoy vintage-inspired décor and traditional cocktails—sans stabbings, shootings, and bar fights.

Pioneer Saloon

The Pioneer Saloon is located 30 miles from the Las Vegas Strip, but a trip to the old-school saloon is definitely worth the drive. Tin walls are punctured with bullet holes reminiscent of a particularly rowdy night. What went down: a gambler was caught cheating and made a move to kill the dealer. The dealer drew a pistol in self-defense and shot the cheater twice in the head. The bullets passed through the gambler—and through the wall behind him, where they remain today.

The saloon is also where actor Clark Gable spent three straight days drinking and smoking cigars while he waited for his wife’s remains to be retrieved from the nearby mountains following a deadly plane crash (you can still see burn marks from his cigar on the bar).

El Chapultepec

Rowdy patrons usually give a bar its bad rap, but El Chapultepec’s owner got a reputation for being just as hard-nosed and mean as his clientele—if not more so. To compensate for his 5’4” stature, the now deceased Jerry Krantz stashed a baseball bat behind the bar and used it to keep unruly patrons in line. When a judge threatened jail time, Krantz switched his weapon of choice to a sock with a cue ball in it. Today, “The Pec” is a safer place. The dive bar is a good spot to see live jazz (Krantz was a huge fan), settle into the famous booth where Jack Keroac once mused or grab a cold beer after a Colorado Rockies game—Coors Field is across the street.

Green Mill sign

Walking into Green Mill is like transporting yourself back to a 1920s speakeasy. Decked out in period furniture and décor from the Roaring Twenties, the jazz club was Al Capone’s favorite hangout (you can still sit in his booth today). Not surprisingly, the speakeasy’s got some noteworthy gang activity on the books: Jack McGurn, one of the owners, was known for using intimidation, bribery, blackmail, and violence to gain a stake in clubs across Chicago. When Joe E. Lewis, one of Green Mill’s most profitable acts, moved on and opened another venue, McGurn hired a hit man to beat him up—and cut out part of his tongue. Despite his injuries, Lewis survived the attack, and his recovery is rumored to have been funded by Capone.

Photo credit: 
Clint Lanier & Derek Hembree
Page Title: 
Infamous Bars – Best Pubs and Most Haunted Places to Visit

Recipe: Lemon and Basil Chicken-Veggie Kebabs

History’s Most Famous Facial Hair

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From sideburns symbolizing rebellion to beards that carry a massive mythology, the past proves that a man’s facial fur can take on a life of its own. So read on for MF’s take on the 13 most meaningful—or just plain memorable—sets of whiskers.
A list of the most iconic staches, sideburns, and stubble known to man—can you guess who made the cut?
tom selleck magnum pi

The history of man is marked by many great achievements—fire, the wheel, Netflix On-Demand. During the course of all of this, though, there have also been many evolutions, advancements, and watershed moments in an area that all (well, most) men can share a common bond: facial hair. Yes, over time, beards, mustaches, and sideburns have gone in and out of style, been grown to new extremes, and taken on larger-than-life personas that have even overshadowed the men to whose faces they’re attached.

And in this current era where business meets the beard (groom at your own discretion, fellas), it’s only fitting that we run through three centuries of some of the finest, most iconic facial fur we can remember. So here is the definitive list, with the exception of many mugs that did not make the cut. (Get it? Facial hair? Hair cut? Okay, moving right along.)

See also: The Best Celebrity Facial Hair>>

Abraham Lincoln

What better way to start off than with our 16th president, recently immortalized by Oscar winner Daniel Day Lewis, who is no stranger to on-screen facial hair (see: Gangs of New York, There Will Be Blood)? But we digress. Before Honest Abe came around, the White House was pretty devoid of beard and stache. Then, while running for office, a beard-less Lincoln was encouraged by a letter from an 11-year-old girl to “grow some whiskers,” since she thought his face was too thin. The Republican nominee took the young girl’s advice, won the election, and the rest was history. The great United States got a president who eventually abolished slavery—and the original “chinstrap.”

Grizzly Adams

Contrary to what Shooter McGavin thinks, “Grizzly Adams did have a beard.” (Happy Gilmore reference, anyone?) The original Mountain Man, John “Grizzly” Adams was best known as a tamer and trainer of grizzly bears, hence the nickname. There is some debate about his legacy (and even his real name), but one thing is not debatable—his feral, yet impressively groomed, man-beard. Fun fact: Dan Haggerty, who portrayed Grizzly Adams in both film and TV (seen in the photo here), gained some dubious fame in 1977 when his beard caught fire while allegedly drinking a flaming drink of sorts. Be careful, ye bar-going bearded hipsters.

Charlie Chaplin
The modern mustache took a simpler approach at the turn of the 20th century, when the “toothbrush” style was popularized in America. Unlike the Imperial, the Walrus, the Kaiser, and several other extravagant staches before it, the toothbrush cut corners (literally) with a low-maintenance look popularized by society’s elite. The style was most regarded on Charlie Chaplin, who dug the toothbrush for its comical appearance—and also because it didn’t hide his many facial expressions. Alas, a guy named Adolf came along and totally changed the perception of the inch-long stache, and the style is rarely seen these days. (Thanks a lot, Hitler.)
Salvador Dali
One of the most iconic artists of all time, Salvador Dali’s paintings epitomized the surrealist movement. And his quirky persona matched his obscure art, as Dali was known just as well for his melting clocks as he was for his eccentric personal life and bizarre style. The Spaniard’s look was defined by his waxed, twisted upward mustache, which Dali styled after another legendary Spanish artist, Diego Velazquez. When once asked about the mustache, Dali answered in a way that only he could. “Since I don’t smoke, I decided to grow a mustache – it’s better for my health.” Well, of course it is!
Yosemite Sam
When it comes to the world of animated facial hair, there are several characters throughout history that deserve mentioning. There’s the Dali-esque mustaches of your favorite video game plumbers, Mario and Luigi, the well-groomed crumb catcher sported by Ned Flanders, and the au naturel, all-white beard that hangs from Papa Smurf. No cartoon in history, however, can compete with the fire-red face fur donned by Yosemite Sam. It’s hard to say where the mustache ends and the beard begins—it literally looks like his hair is eating his face—but if you’ve ever been to Six Flags and haven’t simultaneously tugged on the Yosemite Sam mascot’s whiskers? Well, my friend, you haven’t lived.
Elvis Presley
Quick fact: Sideburns were named after Union Civil War General Ambrose Everett Burnside and his glorious muttonchops. But it wasn’t until the “greaser” era of the 50s when a trimmed down burn defined the young, rebellious and cool look of icons like James Dean, and most notably, Elvis Presley. The King was ridiculed as a child for his long hair and matching chops, but that didn’t deter the follicle legend from ditching the ducktail. As Elvis’ fame (and waistband) grew, so did his facial hair. Since his death, legions of Las Vegas impersonators have paid homage to the Elvis burns—both old and new, real and fake.
Walt Frazier

The ‘70s may be the premier facial fuzz decade of all time, probably thanks to all the residual hair left over from the hippies of the ‘60s. That said, the style and grooming tightened up a bit during the disco era, and Hall-of-Fame point guard Walt “Clyde” Frazier was ahead of the curve. While the rest of the NBA mostly conformed to clean-cut looks, Clyde ushered in a new era of funky self-expression, from his outrageous clothing style to his gigantic muttonchops. Groomed to perfection, with a matching stache, Clyde is still styling and profiling to this day as a color commentator for the Knicks, in which he regularly wears outfits like this.

Rollie Fingers
While Clyde Frazier ushered in a new look for the ‘70s that only slightly borrowed from the past, Hall-of-Famer Rollie Fingers revived an all-out classic – the handlebar mustache – as a pitcher for the Oakland As in 1972. When owner Charles O. Finley issued a challenge to his team to grow the best mustache, Fingers decided to pay homage to ballplayers of the 19th century, with the waxed-up, curled-at-the-ends style you see here. Obviously, Fingers won the bet, and decided to keep the stache for the rest of his career (life?), in what has become perhaps the most iconic piece of facial hair in sports history.
ZZ Top
Hair of the ‘80s can best be described with one word: big. And for Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill, frontmen of the rock band ZZ Top, their beards were no exception. (In one of the greatest examples of irony ever, the name of the band’s mostly clean-shaven drummer is... Frank Beard.) Granted, ZZ Top was making hit music since the early ‘70s, but it wasn’t until the music videos for “Legs” and “Sharp Dressed Man” that the band reached true commercial success. And what coincided with those videos? Why, the debut of Gibbons and Hill’s new chest-long beards, which they grew without each other’s knowledge during a prior hiatus.
Tom Selleck mustache
The true test of iconic facial hair is trying to imagine the guy without the stache, beard, or burns that made him famous. And for anyone who has seen Tom Selleck without his mustache, well, it’s kind of like staring into the sun. Simply put, it’s not advised, so you should avoid watching the movie In & Out and Season 6 of Friends. In his heyday as Magnum, P.I., Selleck sported probably the smoothest stache in history, with all due respect to Burt Reynolds and Keith Hernandez.
Hulk Hogan
In the world of professional wrestling, one signature hair choice can define your image and launch your career into stardom. For John Cena, it was the buzz cut. For the Rock, it was the sideburns. For Stone Cold, it was the goatee. Before those guys, though, there was one Terry Gene Bollea and his 24-inch pythons, better known as Hulk Hogan. Hogan’s mustache is your classic horseshoe design, grown to the corners of the mouth where it makes a b-line down the jaw. Hogan’s horseshoe was highlighted by bleach dye, and stood out over a 30-year wrestling career. When Hogan announced he was ditching the stache in 2012, the American Mustache Institute protested the decision, calling Hogan a “leading figure in the sexually dynamic mustached American community.” (Yeah, it gets even weirder the more times you read it.)
Hugh Jackman as Wolverine

Capturing a comic book character as magnetic as Wolverine on the big screen is no easy task, but it’s safe to say the Marvel Universe is pleased with the job Hugh Jackman has done over the past decade. In five films (and counting), Jackman has portrayed the clawed mutant superhero, known for his rugged demeanor and, of course, some pretty badass ‘burns. The wild style was unique to the comic book before Jackman took on the role, but has since become a popular look for pro athletes (e.g., Rays hitter Luke Scott) and other macho guys who secretly want to have superhuman powers.

Ron Swanson

While he is still a facial hair legend in the making, the early consensus is that Ron Swanson (played by Nick Offerman on the NBC comedy Parks and Recreation) will define a decade that’s been longing for its mustached savior. Amidst a sea of over-the-top hipster beards, Swanson sports a clean-cut stache that has been known to store steak particles for weeks. When combined with his stern facial expressions, the Swanson mustache is said to resemble some members of the feline family, as this blog devotedly chronicles. What’s more: His cranky character even has an on-the-record philosophy about facial hair, thanks to the “Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness” he revealed during Season 3. (“Facial Hair - Full, thick and square. Nothing sculpted. If you have to sculpt it, that probably means you can't grow it.”)

Page Title: 
The Best Facial Hair in the History of Man

10 Most Deceiving Tough Mudder Obstacles

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The course may look like your classic elementary school playground on steroids, but trust us—it holds surprises. Don’t underestimate these tricky tasks in America’s toughest ever adventure race.
From greased monkey bars to vertical wall climbs, here are the hardest obstacles guaranteed to kick your ass on a Tough Mudder course.
Tough mudder obstacle course adventure race
So you think that monkey bars are for kindergarteners, and that rope climbs belong in second-period gym classes? Think again. Tough Mudder knows that the easiest looking obstacles can cause the biggest trouble. Each course is designed to test your physical fitness and your mental strength — that means not only pushing your body to the max, but conquering your worst fears: heights, frigid water, electric shocks, fire, you name it. We talked to Tough Mudder’s course design manager Nolan Kombol, who broke down the obstacles that’ll most likely trip you up. Study up — and never let your guard down.

Tough Mudders 20 Most Badass Obstacles >>>

Arctic Enima
What it tests: Mental grit

Why it’s harder than it seems: Plenty of athletes use ice baths for recovery, so splashing your way through some chilly water should be a cakewalk, right? Wrong. The frigid temperature makes your body react in unexpected ways — loss of breath, contracted muscles, impaired motor functions (or as the Tough Mudder course designers describe it, “Like eating too much ice cream and getting kicked in the balls at the same time.”) Instead of getting out of the icy water as quickly as possible, then, many racers’ bodies freeze up—literally.

Completion Rate: Kombol estimates that 100% of Mudders complete this task — but only 20% do so without panicking.

Twinkle Toes
What it tests: Balance

Why it’s harder than it seems: You’re expected to traverse this narrow wooden beam over an icy pit, racing against other competitors balancing parallel to you. You can weigh 220 pounds and be able to bench the moon, but without balance and concentration, you’ll find yourself ass-first in the water. Twinkle Toes “tends to be an equalizer [between men and women],” says Kombol of the balance-beam act.

Completion rate: Roughly 40%, says Kombol.

Boa Constrictor
What it tests: Fear of small spaces and upper-body strength

Why it’s harder than it seems: In this obstacle, you crawl downhill through a black tube into freezing water, then uphill out the other side. You anticipate the tight, claustrophobia-inducing space, but as you inch your way higher, a steep incline awaits. “The angle of exit makes pushing your way through very difficult,” says Kombol. An extra push of upper body strength will get you though—as long as you don’t lose it first.

Completion Rate: Kombol estimates that only 40% are able to make it out without any help.

Hangin’ Tough
What it tests: Agility, hand strength

Why it’s harder than it seems: Here you’ll swing your way across a pit of icy water, grabbing rings greased in oil and hanging four to six feet apart. (Buildup from mud and ice make the rings extra slippery too.) And while you would think upper body strength is key here, strong hand muscles are actually what will give you an advantage, helping you establish a rhythm as you swing across.

Completion rate: Roughly 30%, says Kombol.

Dong Dangler
What it tests: Upper body strength

Why it’s harder than it seems: You can see point B from point A, but inching your way 70 feet across a freezing lake on a metal cable is tougher than it looks. (Pro tip: Hanging upside down by hooking your ankles together will give you leverage and extra hold.) “This requires an enormous amount of shoulder strength and the ability to not panic when you’re in this position,” says Kombol.

Completion rate: Roughly 65%, says Kombol.

Berlin Walls
What it tests: Teamwork, upper body strength

Why it’s harder than it seems: This series of three 12-foot wooden walls is impossible to do alone and designed with one focus in mind: teamwork. Sure, the climb itself will be tough, but don’t underestimate the toll of assisting your fellow Mudders up after you. Reveling in your successful ascent doesn’t mean you’re done, either. Think carefully about your exit, which can be just as challenging.

Completion rate: Kombol says helping four people over the wall reduces your own ability to successfully complete the obstacle by about 50%.

Island Hopping
What it tests: Balance

Why it’s harder than it seems: While it might look like a simple task of leap frog, hopping across unstable wooden boxes suspended by loose ropes in an icy pond proves nearly impossible. Boxes are covered with water from previous Mudders who’ve taken the plunge, making them extra slippery. The trick is to take your time and focus on conquering one island at a time; otherwise, you’ll fall into the lake and serve a time penalty.

Completion rate: Roughly 40%, says Kombol.

Cliff Hanger
What it tests: Teamwork, agility

Why it’s harder than it looks: You’ve scaled tons of hills during your training, so how bad can this slippery heap of mud be? Well, this baby’s built at a 45-degree angle—and bigger than anything you could have expected. As the Tough Mudder website warns, “If you want to train for Cliff Hanger, you should find the biggest hill near your house, measure it, then drive until you get to a hill twice as steep.” Work your Mudder camaraderie here—form a chain, give a push, and always look back to lend a hand.

Completion rate: Roughly 80% complete this obstacle, says Kombol, but it can be done only with the help of other Mudders.

Dark Lightning
What it tests: Fear, agility

Why it’s harder than it looks: You’re not afraid of the dark, but a crawl through this cave offers plenty of surprises— like a foot in the face from a Mudder in front of you, or a zap from an electric shock. As one Mudder described it on MudderNation.com [http://muddernation.com/profiles/blogs/new-obstacle-dark-lightning], “I was as close as a man could get to the ground without getting it pregnant, and I still got zapped five times working my way through.”

Completion rate: Kombol says that all Mudders complete this task (once you go in, there’s no way out but the other side) — but only a few do so without panicking.

Funky Monkey
What it tests: Agility, hand strength

Why it’s harder than it looks: You all conquered the jungle gym monkey bars in the 1st grade, so why does Funky Monkey — which is pretty similar — trip up 3/4 of the Mudders who try to cross it? Like Hangin’ Tough, the ice and mud buildup from those who’ve come before you is no match for numb fingers. Swing your body using your arm strength, and grab for the rings with a firm grip. But be warned: try as you might, you’ll likely slip into the icy water below.

Completion rate: Roughly 25%, says Kombol.

Photo credit: 
Courtesy of Tough Mudder
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