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10 Reasons You’re Not Getting Laid

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MF got real women to reveal how dudes blow their chances before they seal the deal. Read on—and never make these mistakes again.
MF got real women to reveal how dudes blow their chances.
awkward couple in bedroom

This will sound familiar to all disappointed Casanovas out there: You’re sure you’ve successfully charmed the pants off the girl when she agrees to come to your place for “one last drink.” But just when you think things are going to get hot and heavy, suddenly she’s mumbling about an early meeting, giving you a platonic kiss on the cheek and bolting before you get anywhere near her pants, leaving you wondering where it all went wrong.

So why couldn't you get her into bed? Whether it’s being overall clueless or making one dumb comment, men in 2013 can’t afford a misstep. “Let’s face it, in a society with a plethora of online dating sites, speed dating opportunities, and new dating technologies emerging nearly every month, women are more focused on ruling men ‘out’ than ruling them ‘in,’ says expert Marni Battista, founder and CEO of Dating with Dignity.

To investigate the missteps you might be making without even knowing it (and to prevent you from doing them again), 10 women told us of times they were this close to sealing the deal with a guy…and how he blew it. Don’t repeat their mistakes, gentlemen.

man eating sandwich
"A guy I was casually hooking up with was texting me all sorts of dirty stuff one night about how he wanted me, and when he finally showed up at my door, he was mildly drunk and eating a giant sandwich. (His mid-bite apology: ‘Yeah, just gotta finish this, sorry. So hungry.’) Nothing's less sexy than sandwich breath, not to mention the fact that pausing for a meal kind of kills the mood he had established with all that texting? Ew. I can still smell salami when I think about it."—Kristine, 30
multicolored condoms
“I was involved with a guy long distance. It wasn’t exclusive, but the last time we were together, we were both supposedly single. So after a few drinks at a bar, we headed back to his place. In the cab, we couldn't even breathe we were so into it! We fumbled up to his apartment, but just as things were steaming up, I glanced at where our clothes were falling on the floor. That's when I saw them. Not one, but two used condoms on the floor beside his trashcan. It made not only that night, but our entire thing, feel gross. I never hooked up with him again.” —Melissa, 30
grown man playing with action figures
“I had met up with a work colleague for drinks a few times, and after the third rendezvous, he invited me back to his apartment. He led me straight to his bedroom, where I caught a glimpse of Spiderman out of the corner of my eye. On his dresser, lined up with a precision reserved for front-line militia, was his collection of action figures—everything from Homer Simpson to Wolverine. I suppressed laughter, snapped a picture of the menagerie and mass texted it to my girlfriends. Their responses came back prompting me to run like hell. Needless to say, I never went back to the Bat Cave again.” —Christy, 28
dog in bed under the covers
“This cute guy wined and dined me on a few dates before the fateful night I decided to go back to his place. We went to his bedroom and when we started getting intimate, his dog jumped on the bed—and, um, got involved! The dog licked my leg, which totally freaked me out. I stopped what I was doing (his loss!) and asked him to get rid of his furry friend. But he just put it on the floor, so within minutes, the dog was back on the bed again. Next thing I knew, he was actually petting the dog while I was, how shall we say, petting him! I got the hell out of there and never answered his calls again.” —Meredith, 29
guy asleep in messy room
“After a few dates, I decided to go spend the night at this guy’s house. When we got there, there was lawn furniture in the living room and trash everywhere. It was late night and I couldn't find a cab, so I huddled in a corner of the bed by myself, fully clothed and not wanting to touch anything. He gave me a decorative pillow, something a doll could maybe sleep with, for my head. I jumped up in the morning to leave and my phone had fallen between the bed and the wall. I looked down to retrieve it and there was dried up puke crusted on the floor. Defriended on Facebook. Lose my number. Never speak to me again.” —Carrie, 28
couple about to kiss
“I went out with this guy who was otherwise perfect: tall, cute, funny. But he was the worst kisser! It was literally gag-inducing. I didn’t know how to tell him, and the guy could not take a hint. If I would push him away to get him to ease up, he would for a minute, then dive right back down my throat. I liked him so much I tried, I really did. I even got a little drunk on our fourth date and brought him home, but his kissing was such a turn off I just couldn’t get sufficiently in the mood. We went to sleep instead, and never went out again.” —Beth, 30
annoyed girl on date
“I had gone out with this guy a few times and was feeling kind of into him. Then, on a date, he mentioned a movie he’d seen recently where actress Carrie Mulligan had a nude scene. He declared that he was ‘disappointed’ in her ‘weird body.’ I immediately knew I could never take my clothes off in front of this dude. If he’s that judgmental of a gorgeous Hollywood actress, what is he going to think of my real girl flaws? Or worse, what is he going to say about my body to his friends? Ugh. Next!” —Marie, 30
guy giving the middle finger
“I was out with a guy who I thought was really interesting. We were talking about hockey and when he mentioned the other team, he flipped them off. Both hands, birds flying. It was sort of strange but I didn't think much of it at first. But then he kept doing it and I realized it was a weird bad habit that he flipped off...everything. Instead of talking with his hands, he just flipped everything off. He was nice but it felt like he must have a lot of pent up rage or something—so instead of going home with him, I got out of there.” —Natalie, 25
surprised woman on phone
“I met this guy through a mutual friend, and we went out on a few dates. Things were going really well until one night when I got home late from a rough day at work, and all I wanted to do was head to bed. I called him just to say hi and he responds...‘I'm sorry you had a rough day, babe. I wish I could be there to tuck you in and sing you a lullaby.’ Really? Are you my dad or a guy I'm interested in pursuing?! I immediately hung up the phone and went for a nine mile run to get this conversation out of my head.” —Erin, 25
rich guy holding up money
“I was set up on a date with this guy, so I tried to make the most of it and give him a chance. After he had gone on and on pretty much the entire time about how much money he made, I was feeling less generous. Then, he actually demanded I feel the weight of his watch in my hands so I could see how light—i.e., expensive—it was. Classy! And the last straw was that after all of that, when the check came, he insisted we split it. Under ordinary circumstances, that wouldn’t be such a big deal but after he’d spent the past hour bragging about how rich he was, it was so tasteless.” —Carrie, 29
Page Title: 
Sex and Dating Advice: 10 Reasons You're Not Getting Laid

Foods With Folic Acid: 5 Nutrient-Rich Dishes

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Take note, men: the benefits of folic acid don’t just apply to pregnancy. So here’s how to get more of the vital B vitamin into your diet.
Here’s how to get more of this vital B vitamin into your diet.
Brussells sprouts with bacon

Disclaimer #1: Folic acid (technically the synthetic version of folate, which occurs naturally in food) is a vital nutrient for pregnant females and helps prevent birth defects. Disclaimer #2: Don’t let disclaimer #1 stop you from continuing to read this article.

Yes, it may come as a total shock, but males also require folic acid, part of the water-soluble B vitamin family. It plays a primary role in the synthesis and repair of DNA and in producing red blood cells, which lowers the risk of anemia. Plus it may also help decrease your risk of colon cancer, prevent heart disease and stroke, and slow memory loss and macular degeneration. (Bonus: It might even keep your sperm healthy.) Sounds legit, right?

Luckily, lots of foods are rich in folate, so it shouldn’t be tough to hit your recommended daily intake of 400 mcg. Here are five easy sources—and delicious dishes—to get you started.

asparagus

½ cup cooked greens has about 33% of your RDA

Folate is another reason that you should be eating your greens, like kale, spinach, Swiss chard and asparagus. So light up your grill or grill pan and toss on some asparagus spears drizzled with olive oil, salt and pepper for about 6 to 8 minutes until they’re tender. Finish them off with fresh grated parmesan cheese and lemon zest for a quick side dish. (Get more ideas for how to eat Swiss Chard here.)

lentil and sausage stew

½ cup cooked lentils has about 45% of your RDA

Change up your standard turkey sandwich lunch order and reach for lentil soup and a half sandwich instead—or go ahead and get creative in the kitchen. One idea for a hearty homemade dinner: combine sautéed garlic and a small onion with red lentils, coconut milk, low-sodium vegetable broth, cumin and coriander; then simmer until lentils are soft. (For more folate-rich options, look to beans and chickpeas as well.)

brussels sprouts

½ cup of cooked Brussels sprouts has 20% of your RDA

Possibly your least favorite vegetable as a child, Brussels sprouts have made a serious comeback. And guess what? They’re easy to prep. Just cut them in half before drizzling with olive oil, salt and pepper; then roast them for a good 20 minutes. Finish the dish off with a dash of sriracha sauce and you’ve got yourself a spicy, folate-rich side.

bran flakes with blueberries

¾ cup of bran flakes has 100% of your RDA

If you can’t live without your morning cereal, you’re in luck. Most are typically fortified with folic acid and contain anywhere from 100 to 400 mcg, which shakes out to 25 to 100% of your daily rec. (Tip: Make your bowl of cereal extra-energizing by tossing in sliced banana or fresh fruit and some slivered almonds.)

chicken liver pate on toast

3.5 oz of chicken liver has about 193% of your RDA

So we thought we’d save the best for last. (That RDA makes quite a case for indulging on occasion, huh?) One idea: get a little fancy and whip up a quick chicken liver pate at home, which is guaranteed to impress any date. Simply combine sautéed onions and garlic, sautéed chopped chicken livers, 2 hard boiled eggs, salt, pepper and a touch of fresh tarragon. Then, blend it all up in a food processor and serve with whole-wheat baguette toasts.

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Foods With Folate: 5 Nutrient-Rich Dishes

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Chris Powell's Tools for Staying on Track

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These 10 tips from the Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition's trainer will keep you on track in 2013.
Stick to your New Year's resolution with these 10 tips.
Exercise tools
It’s easier to stick to your January 1st–inspired goals when you have things in place to facilitate achieving them. Here’s a list of gear, gadgets, and accessories that I’m using to get a better body this year.
Man jump roping
There was never a more portable cardio option. I’ve got a speed rope that travels with me no matter where I go. For a calorie-torching-cardio workout, try jumping for 60 seconds followed by a 30-second rest, and then repeat for 15 minutes.

[See CrossRope: A Weighted Jump Rope to Enhance Your Cardio Routine]

Guy using MP3 Player
Music is the ultimate motivator. When I’ve got a new playlist loaded up, I can’t wait to get into the gym and let the music course through my veins.
Man using blender
If you’re shopping for a blender, be sure to get one that can break up ice without burning out the motor. That will go a long way toward making chalky protein shakes more pallatable. When traveling, I never leave home without my shaker bottle. It makes for quick and easy protein drinks on the go.
Man with protein shake
Of course whole foods are best, but convenient and easy-to-carry meal replacements allow you to eat breakfast or get another nutritionally equivalent meal when you don’t have time to prepare one. The Powell Perfect Shake, which I have been working on with my wife for the last year, is for anyone with weight-loss and fitness goals who’s looking for a fast and convenient solution for the best nourishment. Check it out at chrispowell.com

[See: Protein Shake Essentials]

Man running shoes
Workouts suck when you’re not comfortable. It’s worth the time and money to find a quality shoe store that can help you find the right fit for your feet and for your activity. From running to cross-training to lifting, you have to get the right shoes for the job. If possible, get two pairs so that one can air out while you wear the other—you’ll be able to better control the newfound smells your training will create!
Smartphone apps
The days of tracking your workouts and calories by hand are over. Technology now allows you to control everything about your regimen much more easily, and all in one place. There is an app out there for virtually every aspect of your training. Search for one that fits your needs at your favorite app store.
Man using heart-rate monitor
Don’t leave your cardio training to chance. The only way you can be sure you’re training hard enough (and not too hard) is to see what range your heart rate is in.

[See: The Coolest Health and Fitness Gadgets at CES 2013]

First Aid Kit
Work out long enough and you’re going to get injured—it happens to everybody at some point. Be prepared to take care of your body afterward. Two things I always have packed in my gym bag are athletic tape (to stabilize an injured joint) and Epsom salt (to soak sore muscles).
Trainer holding clipboard
If you’re starting a fitness regimen for the first time, it’s best to have someone you can look to when you need answers. Find a certified trainer you trust and a nutritionist you can learn from.
Guys lifting weights
Success comes more easily when you’re surrounded by people who support you. Find friends and family who will help you reach your goals, and pay it forward, as well. If you see someone at the gym who looks like they could use some support or friendship, be bold and reach out to them. You’ll both benefit.

[See: The Coolest Health and Fitness Gadgets at CES 2013]

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Chris Powell's Exercise Tools for a Healthy Lifestyle

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Think Like an Athlete: Stay Motivated in 2013

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Five-athleted tested tips for motivation.
Man on Mountain

The No. 1 resolution in the U.S. this time last year was to become more physically fit, up from No. 4 in 2002, according to a Franklin-Covey survey. It’s a good goal.

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Fit Food: The Benefits of Cabbage

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It’s time to stop hating on this winter-friendly super food, which is packed with fiber and Vitamin C. Here, five easy cabbage recipes to help you fall in love.
Stop hating on this super food, which is packed with fiber and Vitamin C.
cabbage halves

Cabbage tends to have a harsh rep, and in a way, it’s justified: when overcooked, it can turn soggy and smell totally rank. But don’t turn up your nose just yet. Brussels sprouts’ equally unpopular cousin should definitely make its way onto your plate, and here’s why:

  • Cabbage is incredibly low in calories and virtually fat- and cholesterol-free—a ½-cup only contains a measely 20 calories, according to the USDA.
  • One serving has almost half of your daily recommended intake of vitamin C.
  • Cabbage is also jam-packed with dietary fiber, and some varieties—especially savoy and bok choy—contain beta-carotene, an antioxidant that fights cancers and heart disease.

Still skeptical? We suggest you read on—and give these easy cabbage recipes a try. How much you like them just might surprise you.

stuffed cabbage

Carb-concious guys, take note: ditch your burger-and-bun combo for a stuffed cabbage leaf. Assemble a filling made from 1 lb. lean ground beef, 1 egg, 1 cup breadcrumbs, and spices like thyme, then wrap a handful-sized serving in each cabbage leaf. Place in a baking dish, cover with crushed tomatoes or tomato sauce, and bake at 375 degrees for 1 hour. The result? An iron-rich, protein-packed meal, with lots of leftovers.

sauerkraut

Fermented cabbage has a stinky reputation, but the shredded and seasoned side (made by adding lactic acid bacteria) makes a great addition to lots of meals. You can smother ‘kraut on top of a chicken sausage and diced apples—a healthier take on the classic bratwurst—or add it to a lean turkey burger topped with grilled onions and low-fat Swiss cheese. Also try it alongside pork loin, a super-lean cut that pairs perfectly.

cole slaw

Raw shredded cabbage makes a great base for a light ‘slaw—just mix it with carrots, onion, light mayo, vinegar, mustard, celery seed, salt, and black pepper. Pair this dish with any kind of sandwich, or dress it up with Asian-inspired additions. You can mix in uncooked ramen noodles, slivered almonds—a good source of heart-healthy LDL cholesterol—and sliced Mandarin oranges, which are rich in vitamin-C, then toss with a dressing of your choice.

kimchi

Yes, this Korean dish is even more pungent than sauerkraut—but it’s totally worth it. Made with a mix of cabbage, garlic, salt, vinegar, chili peppers, and vinegar, it packs a ton of dietary fiber, vitamin C, and beta carotene. And since it’s swarming with good-for-you bacteria like lactobacilli, it can also aid digestion. Hip food trucks have started shelling kimchi-topped hotdogs, but for a lower-sodium option, try kimchi as part of a protein-filled breakfast. Serve it as a garnish to a vegetable omelet, like you’d add a dollop of hot sauce or salsa. (Memo to dudes with sensitive taste buds: this dish packs heat!)

cabbage soup

This rustic dish makes for a perfect hearty winter dinner. Simply simmer coarsely-chopped cabbage in low-sodium broth, then add garlic, salt, lycopene-rich stewed tomatoes, and salt and pepper to taste. Throw in whatever other veggies you like, from celery to carrots or potatoes. Kidney or cannellini beans would also pack in extra protein and dietary fiber, which stabilizes blood glucose levels.

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Fit Food: Recipes With Cabbage

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