Another year passed, another failed end-of-the-world prophecy. So yeah, we’re all still here. Unfortunately, that includes this lineup of loathable leftovers we hope to never have to see in 2013. From a blind football coach leading the blind to a hayseed family that introduced the world to “sketti” (that’s spaghetti with ketchup-and-butter sauce for those of you who need a reminder), 2012 was chock-full of athletes, politicians, actors, and reality TV slime that made us shake our collective heads. Or simply feel better about ourselves? Whatever works. Without further ado, we present the worst people of 2012.
Ok, Chris Brown and Rihanna. We get it. You’re back together (when you feel like it) after being the poster children for domestic abuse just three short years ago. Making an album called Unapologetic and a single together called “Nobody’s Business” makes it only more painstakingly obvious and annoying. But to flaunt and spread your diseased relationship like wildfire on social media, including Twitter feuds with exes and random standup comedians, Instagram captions like this one, and your combined horrible comprehension of English grammar? It’s just too much, and you both have got to go. Not to mention Brown’s club brawl with Drake’s posse in NYC last June, where the only things “thrown” were expensive champagne bottles across the room. (Seriously, who fights like that?)
Not to outdo Lohan (because that’s pretty much physically impossible), Amanda Bynes wins a spot on our list as another fallen child actress who cannot drive to save her life. When she wasn’t stalking Kid Cudi on Twitter, Bynes was involved in (at least) four traffic incidents in 2012, ultimately having her BMW impounded for driving with a suspended license. The low-light though was an April DUI arrest in which she sideswiped a police car trying to flee the scene. The incident led to Bynes infamously tweeting Barack Obama, “I don’t drink” and “Please fire the cop who arrested me. I also don’t’ hit and run. The end.” Yes, Amanda. “The end” indeed.
After five years of knock-down, drag-out torture, men across the nation can finally rejoice—the Twilight saga (aka, those five really shitty movies your girlfriend insisted you take her to) is finally over. At least for now. I think we can probably file more Twilight films up there with death and taxes. But in the meantime, we all get a much-needed break from the awkward musings of one Kristen Stewart, who never quite captivated male audiences as Bella Swan—probably because of things like this and oh yeah, let’s not forget this. And while he did indeed once star in a movie called Water for Elephants, we still got your back R-Patz. Bros before weirdos, always.
Following his name change to Metta World Peace in 2011, a more tranquil and benevolent persona was expected from the player formerly known as Ron Artest. Not surprisingly, however, MWP remained one of the most physical and dirty players in the NBA. It would have been a mostly low-key year for MWP if not for one incident in April that left most basketball fans sickened. After throwing down a dunk, Peace swung a vicious elbow to the skull of James Harden, which caused the bearded baller to suffer a concussion. The worst part—MWP claimed the blow was part of his post-dunk celebration. Sure it was Peace, sure it was.
